The Grief Road: Shock

Grief is a deep and powerful emotion caused by the loss of someone or something we held dear. Grief is part of loving and engaging in life. When loss comes in this fallen world, grief comes with it. Grief is not an emotion to be avoided, but, rather to be acknowledged and walked through. We are on the grief road, and are walking through it.

Grief is by definition- deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death. Grief is strong sometimes overwhelming emotions for people. We will be taking 7 stops along this grief road, the first stop we will take is (shock).

Shock is a sudden or violent mental or emotional disturbance.

Shock feels like numbness, a fog, a disbelief. It is the body's way of protecting us from early pain.

You may feel like you are functioning on auto pilot. Some people will feel as if everything is going on at a distance, that they are observing what is going on from afar. Shock is our way of protecting ourselves, a temporary shut down in feelings , thoughts and even physical sensations. Some experience difficulty in thinking, as if the brain couldn't process the information. Feelings of shock are unavoidable in nearly every situation, even if we feel we have had time to prepare for the loss of a loved one.

Psalm 34:15 The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry.

I remember this stop along the grief road all too well. It was for me very overwhelming, I was in the fog and wasn't even able to process what I needed to do. My thoughts were so scattered, every single thought I had was my kids are gone, I couldn't get past these continuing thoughts of my kids are gone. I was consumed to the point of having to write sticky notes to remind myself of every thing that I must get done. Things that had seemed so ordinary in a day were no longer ordinary for me. I remember standing in the Walmart check out line and thinking everyone's life is going on around me and mine has stopped. I felt like I was observing from afar. I couldn't handle hearing little ones crying in the store or parents being ugly to their child. I literally wanted to go up to them and say," you have no idea what a blessing this child is." I wanted to scream literally outside as my mind and heart was screaming on the inside. I went to the cemetery daily, I ran over bricks at the cemetery.

I had so many waves of shock hit me, and that is the best way to describe shock its like a waves in the ocean. Some waves are huge and some swell and roll back quickly. All the waves seem to have a crash as they hit you.

The fog that comes with shock can last from hours, to weeks or even months. For me this fog lasted for months, I seemed to function on auto pilot for a long time. I literally was still in shock from my daughter and grandsons death when my second daughter lost her life. I remember that day at the hospital sitting at her bedside as they told me there was no brain activity and thinking to myself how will I do this again. I can't even see past this deep fog I am in now. I hit shutdown, I went through every motion and my feelings shut down. I was in complete shock and disbelief.

My dad lost his arm before I was born and I heard him talk about phantom pain, an ongoing painful sensation that seems to be coming from the part of a limb that is no longer there. Shock is just like phantom pain its ongoing and a very painful sensation of something that is no longer there.

This stop along the grief road is a very hard stop, its hard and necessary all in one. I want to encourage you as I have shared some of my stop along the road with you remember the road were on is to be traveled and yes there are stops along the way but we don't want to get stuck at a stop. Grief is a process and the process is one you will be on the rest of your journey. Learning to live with loss isn't easy, but it is possible. The Lord is very near to you in shock.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such that have a contrite (crushed)

spirit.

Follow me as I follow Jesus,

down the grief road.

Tracey Lynn