The days that are no longer a celebration:

Today is another one of those days that happens once a year for parents. The day that your child is born, is a day of celebration. Their birthdays were once so anticipated & sometimes planning for months took place. Parents that are walking down a different road, known as the grief road, birthdays are no longer planned for, at the most you will go buy some flowers and take them to their grave site & remember all the birthdays you once celebrated.

John 16:21-22 (amp)

A woman, when she is in labor, has pain because her time (to give birth has come; but when she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of her joy that a child has come into the world. So for now you are in grief; but I will see you again, and (then) your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take away from you your (great) joy.

This very portion of Scripture is Jesus' Death and Resurrection Foretold.

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Although this scripture speaks of Jesus' death and resurrection it is very fitting for a grieving parent. As grieving parents, we remember the pain that led to that moment of birth. We also remember that moment of deep anguish that follows knowing your child is no longer going to be on this earth with you anymore. We also stand in hope of the very day that we will one day see all of those who have gone on before us in Jesus.

As the days turn to years and the birthdays seem to be adding up more than we would like. Enduring these days can be quite difficult. Some days more than others. I can attest to this, today is one of those days for me and my husband personally. I am sharing in this blog my mother's heart in the raw moments. I began my blogging journey taking us down the grief road and the steps of that road. I have switched gears with that because I believe my real and raw grief is what will help you walk through yours as well. My heart is to help you as I journey this road myself.

Today marks six birthdays I have been without my daughter Bri, and in January it was six years without my daughter Kaley as well. There are three years in between the girls in age & 7 short weeks in between their deaths.

I chose to add this image right here because this is one of those pictures that speaks more than one message to me. This is Bri & Kaley on a trip we took to Ruidoso. This was a hiking day, both girls were headed down the road before me. Both girls are not looking at me, there is some distance in between us. Also, their shadows are in this picture. The very message I see here is the girls were going ahead of me, not looking back at me and leaving a shadow of memories for me to cherish this very day & every birthday that comes in between the time I see my girls again. I have hope of seeing them again because of the very hope I have in Jesus. The Word says in 1Thessalonians 4:17 that those that have gone on before us in Jesus, we will see again. I cling tightly to this hope.

We don't know what each day will bring. I didn't know that I would be sitting here today as a writer, blogging about the death of my girls.

We must live each day as it could be our last on earth and some days it is very easy to lose sight of this very truth, even for me. Days like today take me right back to this very real reality. I want to live with eternity always in focus; because all that truly matters at the end of your days here on earth is your eternity.

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I have so many sweet memories that have come to my mind and heart today about Bri. I have sadness that follows those memories trying to not get too caught up in what would she be like today. What would our journey look like as mom and daughter as she is getting closer to her thirties? I could go on and on.

I have to truly stop and breathe and thank the Lord for all the time we had together and all the precious memories we once shared. I have to change my focus many times on days like today so I don't get swept away in grief. This road has so many bumps in it & at every bump we feel it and then we must refocus.

My prayer for every grieving parent is that you learn to endure this road, with every bump and turn you will quickly turn your focus back to Jesus and the hope that only He provides you in this journey.

Follow me,

As I follow Jesus,

down this grief road.

Tracey Lynn